WELL I KNOW WHAT DEODERANT I WON’T BE PURCHASING
Old Spice has been banking on “WTF” advertising for several years now to varying degrees of success—I thought the Terry Crews spots were pretty hit or miss. But their latest commercial—titled “Momsong”—might just be the weirdest of them all. A group of moms “sing” a jingle (quite poorly, I might add) lamenting the fact that Old Spice has allowed their boys to grow up and score dates. I really don’t know what to make of this, but I do know that it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Also, is that Chuckie-esque janitor a real person, or is he wearing makeup and prosthetics to make him look so creepy? He can’t be real, right?
MADGE SAYS “OK” TO GIN AND JUICE FOR HER BABY
Are you guys shocked that: 1. Madonna’s 13-year-old son is hot 2. She allowed him to dress as a white Tupac for some reason or weird English holiday we aren’t aware of 3. She has no problem with her son holding a bottle of Bombay Sapphire? Because I’m not, especially when it comes to No.1. Rocco is a nice little mixture of vampiress Madonna and super hot daddy Guy Ritchie (he’s on the top of my hall pass list, which makes no sense because I am single and therefore don’t need a hall pass, but whatever, you get it) and clearly has nice taste in gin. Madonna posted a photo of Rocco and friends holding bottles of booze on her Instagram. Because Madonna rids herself of sugar, carbs, booze and everything worth living for, I actually think it is pretty awesome that she allows for her underage children to indulge in the finer things in life. Roccco on.
2 BROKE GIRLS PROVES TO HAVE THE BEST ONE LINERS, EVER
2 Broke Girls received 91 informal complaints to the FCC about the incredible one-liners that fellow Kahn Comedy Graduate Whitney Cummings and her team of writers so graciously gave us. Thank you Youtube and Jezebel for giving us not one, but two montages of amazing one-liners. Kiddies, cover your ears.
WAYNE BRADY GETS SPICY WITH CHILLI
How the hell is Chilli (from TLC, duh) going to go from Usher to Wayne Brady? Seriously though, Chilli is part of the Liz Culley’ ”I Am Pretty Sure You Are a Vampire List,” (other members include Pharell, Beyoncé, Madonna and Cindy Crawford) and when it comes to her looks, she’s pretty damn fine for being 42 years old. I am struggling to understand how she can’t find a nice, hot, just-out-of-prison looking dude down in Atlanta. Wayne Brady is… well, he hosts the Price is Right. ‘Nough said.
ST. VINCENT’S “DIGITAL WITNESS”
ANNIE CLARK. I love this woman so much. After a promising first single, “Birth in Reverse”—in which she channels The Strokes and her collaborator David Byrne—Clark a.k.a. St. Vincent dropped another addictive track today, called “Digital Witness.” Though previously known for her orchestral tracks of lovelorn tales that sound like soundtracks to indie Disney movies, St. Vincent takes a different approach on her forthcoming album, with a funkier, more confident sound (I’m guessing it can be credited to all her time spent with Byrne). Anyway, this is two for two! Give it a spin.
P.S. Watch the above video carefully. I just realized it’s not a still photo audio clip. Ooooh.
St. Vincent is out February 25.
CASS MCCOMBS’ “BIG WHEEL” VIDEO
Cass McCombs outchea tryna brainwash us or something. Watch the folk singer’s new video for “Big Wheel” (from last year’s Big Wheel and Others)—it reads like a strange propaganda video, filled with bizarre visuals. I’m sorry but I can’t with the bloody fingers.
RIP PHIL EVERLY
Phil Everly, of the fraternal rockabilly duo Everly Brothers, passed away this past weekend at the age of 74, due to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. The band, which has been around since 1956, became known for their harmonized, country-tinged love songs that influenced much of ‘50s/’60s rock and roll music. The older of the two, Don Everly (76), commented on his brother’s death: “I loved my brother very much. I always thought I’d be the one to go first… The world might be mourning an Everly Brother, but I’m mourning my brother Phil Everly.” Rest in peace, Phil.
OMG THIS PIZZA UNDERGROUND VIDEO
HI SO YOU MAY KNOW THAT MACAULAY CULKIN IS IN A PIZZA-THEMED VELVET UNDERGROUND COVER BAND. I LOVE THEM A LOT. Here, watch their very cheesy (haha get it haha) music video. Okay bye.
ELLIE GOULDING GETS COLORFUL IN HER NEW VID
Face it: Ellie Goulding is a hit machine. You simply cannot stop Ellie’s reign. Some, even Rihanna, might say, “Gee, that Ellie reign just won’t let up.” And that is because they would be correct. The English singer-songwriter continues her onslaught by cranking out yet another future smash with the video for “Goodness Gracious,” a cut off her sophomore rerelease Halcyon Days. And damned if she isn’t enjoying just how much of a chokehold she has on the game. In this neon video, directed by Kinga Burza, she frolics about with her fronds, dancing on steps with light-up sneakers that make L.A. Gear look like pieces of shit. Looks like Ellie’s got another one on the books.
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